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We all receive the occasional lump of advertisements in the mail with local weekly specials, sometimes containing very useful coupons for everyday household items. Inevitably, however, I’ve noticed that there are always some very interesting, random ads that are just screaming for public acknowledgment.

Though I don’t see much of him anymore, I’ve always secretly mocked hands-free cell phone guy when I see him out in public. I understand the value of a hands-free cell phone while driving, but why – WHY?!?!?! – anywhere else? Never once has hands-free cell phone guy had anything in his hands that could otherwise prevent him from answering a phone, nor does he look very busy. I mean, I could totally understand if he didn’t have arms, but this has never once been the case.

As it turns out, hands-free cell phone guy wasn’t wearing said hands-free cell phone to look cool and authoritative, but instead because he is going deaf. All this time I have been making fun of someone who just needed a little "loud 'n clear" in his ear, who wanted to – for once in his life – be able to not have to ask “What?” for the fifty-millionth time of the day, who wanted to keep the tv volume at a reasonable decibel so that everyone in the house wouldn’t go deaf too.


I should be ashamed of myself. Someone should tell this poor guy that it's not as discreet as he thinks.