AD-LIB

Thought I’d post this for all of you who are trying to get a jump-start on next year’s Christmas shopping. (You’re welcome.)



With six easily accessible and extremely Magic Cling-y secure pockets, “Will you hold my man-purse while I use the restroom?” is a phrase of the past. That’s right, folks, the Casual Jack in your life can carry everything he needs on his person and avoid the dreaded and stigmatized accessory that has made him the subject of mockery of many casual conversations.

But that’s not all.

These also come with a convenient commodity that’ll make Casual Jack Sr. and all of Casual Jack’s buddies place these glorified sweatpants at the top of their Christmas/Birthday/Buy Me a Present for No-reason lists: an easy-access zipper fly. (Insert Devo’s “Whip It” as background music here) Perhaps the ad says it best: “No more droppin’ your drawers just to do numero uno!” (Hi-lighted and bracketed for emphasis. You can’t make this stuff up!) Now Casual Jack can recover valuable time and get back to more important things in life. Like World of Warcraft or the multiple football games that are gracing the flatscreen.

Worried that these will itch and scratch like those awful department store brands? Have no fear, because these high quality digs are proclaimed to be “Hefty, Warm, Durable, and Soft as a Kitten" (Also underlined for your viewing pleasure) Rest assured that no actual kittens were harmed in the making of these machine-washable , elastic waistbanded gems, however.

Quite frankly, the only thing missing from these precious cargos is builit-in underwear and a “numero dos” zipper. But I bet this is where the company drew the line.

After all, these pockets aren’t the only matter in the universe with Magic Cling properties if you know what I mean.






**On a more serious note. One week ago, an earthquake devastated the country of Haiti, demolishing the infrastructure of many cities, killing hundreds of thousands, and injuring and displacing millions more. I recently learned that before the disaster, the country only had 3 doctors for every 10,000 residents. At this time, resources are extremely limited and the people are suffering greatly. If you haven’t already, please consider donating a small amount to an organization to help relief efforts.

HERE is a site that provides a list with many options for donation, and I have listed a few other convenient donation options from the site as well.

Text "Haiti" to 90999 to donate $10 to the American Red Cross relief efforts

• Tried and true. You will receive a confirmation via text to let you know that the $10 will be charged to your next phone bill.

Text Yele to 501 501 to donate $5

Text HAITI to 864833 to donate $5 to United Way Worldwide's disaster fund for long-term recovery.