A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS, PART III

Any final guesses as to what the BAM! was?

Another hint: I was not sitting in my car amusing myself with fun onomatopoeias.

As I was crossing an intersection, I was rear-ended by the car driving behind me. I pulled the Xterra over to the side of the road and got out to see what damage had been done. The woman in the other car was hysterical; both air-bags in her car had deployed and her car had definitely received the worst of the damage. I asked her if she was okay, told her not to move, and immediately called the police.

An ambulance arrived first, followed shortly by police and firemen. I was asked about my driver’s license and insurance and walked to the X to get it.

And that’s when I realized that I had a slight problem.

There was not an insurance card anywhere in Jerm’s car. Many curse words!

I called Jerm to ask (well, honestly, yell-ask is probably a better word for my actions) where the card might possibly be, just to make sure that I wouldn’t have to tell the officer standing outside of the Xterra that I didn’t have an insurance card with me.

No such luck.

I was issued a ticket in the midst of the ambulance taking the lady to the hospital and the firemen helping me remove the spare tire under the Xterra that was wiped out and dangling by its formerly secure chain. However, I started to slowly recognize that a) I was not hurt; b) the X was still drivable which was a huge deal; and c) the ticket would be dismissed as soon as I provided proof of insurance. I just hope the woman in the other car was okay.

I drove to the court house yesterday and provided proof of insurance and the ticket was dismissed. (In all actuality, I drove around downtown Tulsa for an hour looking for the dang place and then, once I found it, a friggin’ place to park and then, once I got past the long line of scary people and metal detectors in the court house, I was told I was in the wrong building. But who wants to know those details anyway?)

While I was waiting in line for my turn at the court records office, the guy behind me asks, “So, did you miss your court date, too?”

And this, friends, is the quote that wrapped up what turned out to be some not-as-unfortunate-as-I thought events.